Perhaps the best reason for the bride and groom to pay for their wedding entirely on their own is the simple fact that it should grant them complete autonomy when it comes to making decisions about the wedding. However, the cost of many weddings is shared jointly among the wedding couple, the bride’s parents, and the groom’s parents.

This simple fact leads to the inclusion of six different opinions when it comes to the decision making process. In turn, this often leads to a great deal of discussion and lively argument. Everyone believes that they have a right to some input since they are helping to pay for this grand event.

Although the time before the wedding, the engagement period, should be one of the happiest times of their lives, it is also one of the most stressful, taking away from the happiness that each couple experiences. In fact, every single person involved in the wedding has an opinion concerning some aspect of the wedding.

Although some individuals will keep their thoughts to themselves, many will not. This can be one of the major sources of the increasing level of stress that is experienced by engaged couples. Although the wedding is supposed to be about the couple, it often becomes focused around what the bride’s parents want or what the groom’s parents want.

Plus, in today’s society, with all of the broken marriages and subsequent remarriages, this can add up to quite a few people being involved in decisions concerning the wedding plans. Step-parents, step-grandparents, half-sisters, half-brothers, parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, best friends, and even friends all seem to have something to say whether they are putting any finances toward the wedding extravaganza or not. Everyone seems to have an opinion or a favor to ask.

Relatively soon into the planning the bride is inundated with questions and requests. “Can I please have so-and-so as my escort for the bridal party?” “I think white roses would make a better selection for the boutonnières, don’t you?” “Why do they have more guests than I?” “You simply must have the reception immediately after the wedding ceremony.”

Trying to keep the peace takes the forefront and planning the wedding takes a secondary position. The bride might feel helpless and unable to take charge and communicate clearly to these people that it is, afterall, her wedding. Eventually, things settle down, but, in the meantime, stress overrides enjoyment. Here are some helpful hints abut how to deal with stress.

• Know what you want before everyone you know starts telling you what you’re wedding should be. Talk about the kind of wedding you want. When you start sharing the news, without having a clue about the experience you want to create, you are more susceptible to pressure and sway from others.

• Stay connected with the man you will marry. Make a promise that you will make all decisions together, and back each other up. The instant there is vulnerability in your partnership, you will both be swayed more easily by other people’s opinions.

• Every person has something to say about your wedding. It’s a given. Just accept it. Whether they are paying for it or not ... no matter whom you are or what age, you will be bombarded with unsolicited advice.

• Your friends and family have an agenda for your wedding. People tend to see your wedding as a chance to satisfy their own needs. They have a propensity to act out what its all about for them – not you! You have to set clear boundaries, and also shield yourself emotionally from the sometimes-negative opinions of well-meaning friends and relatives.

• You can include loved ones without letting them run the show. There are so many creative ways to honor them in the ceremony and at the reception. Get over your desire to make everyone happy and focus instead on honoring family ties in a way that is meaningful to your marriage.

• Your happiness in life (and marriage) does not depend on your wedding day.-Our society places a great emphasis on having a perfect wedding and not enough focus on having an awesome marriage. It’s okay to be temporarily obsessed and to yearn for the ideal wedding–we all go there at some point–but you have to keep your eye on what’s truly important. Too many brides treat the wedding itself as something to be worshipped and served. Don’t give the wedding day so much power! Step back and realize, the most important part of the day is not the day itself ... but that you walked down that aisle and into the arms of the one you love … the one you look forward to building your life with. One night a week neither of you are allowed to mention the word wedding or anything wedding related. This can be a date night, or just relaxing at home together to remind you why you’re going through all this craziness in the first place! Quite often, no problems arise and the wedding is planned peacefully and without incident. However, just as frequently, problems do occur and only a semblance of peace remains. Family dynamics play a large part in determining the amount of enjoyment that goes into planning the wedding.